Negotiation No-Nos Video

[Narrator] Negotiating No-Nos and Tips for Getting What You Want.

Don't believe the movies. Negotiators handle much more than hostage situations. Whether you're deciding who cooks at home or setting a work deadline, negotiation techniques come in handy every day. Here are common pitfalls to avoid and tips for getting what you really want.

You wing it. Without legwork, you won't get the best possible outcome. A successful negotiation starts long before talks begin. As well as working out your ideal, realistic and fallback positions, you should look at your options too.

If you're clear on the options available to you, you're already in a strong negotiating position. You don't need to give as much away and can nudge the other side, knowing you have a good backup if talks fall through. If your options are slim, keep "schtum," as they may make demands you'll feel like you have to accept without a healthy alternative.

You focus on positions. Don't let a cool facade fool you. Everyone needs something. To get beyond positions (what people say they want), to interests, (what they need), try asking open-ended questions they can't answer with a simple yes or no, then listen. If you share common interests, it'll be easier for people to agree with what you request. And by comparing their needs with yours, you can gauge how much room you have to negotiate, and when to stop asking for more.

You sweat the small stuff. It's easy to lose sight of the big picture by focusing too closely on details. Instead of fighting for every scrap, identify things you're willing to give up to get what you really want. If your interests differ from your counterpart, small stuff for you might be deal breakers for them.

You don't ask for what you want. If the other person talks first, it's easy to start on the back foot with a counteroffer, but you should always say what you want. It's a good idea to add on a bit too, by bidding low or setting a high value to what you have to offer. This gives you room to negotiate and still leave with your ideal position.

Remember to challenge a first offer too, even if it's better than you expected. If you don't, the other side will feel like they didn't get a good deal, and you'll wonder, "What if?"

Finally, don't be afraid to walk. If the other party hasn't met your fallback position, walking away lets them reflect on your proposal. If they're keen, they'll come back.