How Good Are Your Coaching Skills?

Your coaching sessions will only succeed if your coachee can be completely open with you, and if she feels comfortable enough to discuss every aspect of her challenge or goal. She must be able to trust you, so that she is willing to share confidential personal information. Building trust   creates rapport   and promotes risk taking   , which is critical during the coaching process, because it encourages your coachee to try something new or different. 

According to former Harvard Business School professor David Maister, you can break trust down into four characteristics: credibility, reliability, intimacy, and care. So, work hard to develop these in your coaching sessions. You can do this by being completely honest and transparent with your coachee, treating him with respect, and making sure that you avoid micromanaging   him. 

Tact   is also important in coaching, as it allows you to be honest, maintain trust, and be sensitive to your coachee's emotions. It also encourages an open and honest relationship. So, make sure that you're sensitive and receptive to how your coachee feels, choose your words carefully, pay attention to your body language   , and avoid reacting emotionally   to what she says. 

Many coaching models put the coachee at the center of the process. In other words, you should help him discover the answers for himself by providing the necessary tools. The most important of these are your questions - they encourage him to uncover his goals and find the best way to achieve them.

With practice and experience, you'll begin to understand what the "right" questions are. As a simple rule, you should start by asking your coachee open questions, and then ask more specific and probing ones once she raises an issue or concern. Read our article on questioning techniques   to find out how you can use open and closed questions to get the responses you need to help her.

While the questions you ask are vital, it's just as important to listen to your coachee's answers. By doing this, you show him that you're interested in what he has to say. Use active listening   to improve your listening skills, and make sure you take notice of how he answers, not just what he says. Is there a lot of emotion attached to his words? If so, what emotion? Pay careful attention to his body language, and make sure that his speech and actions match. 

You can also help your coachee relax and show that you understand her words by summarizing and repeating what she says. Use empathic listening and mindful listening   to take active listening to a new level, and to help you identify the root cause of her problems, rather than just the symptoms.

For a coaching session to be effective, you should encourage relaxed conversations and refrain from passing judgment. Avoid following a set pattern, but make sure that your sessions are clear and focused.

Work hard to build rapport   with your coachee, so that you can reduce fear and encourage him to relax. Rapport will likely grow naturally from one session to the next, but you should still aim to improve it throughout the process. 

An aimless conversation during a coaching session, although enjoyable, may not benefit the coachee or help her achieve her desired outcome. So, make sure that you have a general outline of the goals and objectives for each session, so that you have a solid framework that conversation can flourish within.

Your coachee needs to understand where he is in the coaching process, so that he's aware of his progress and knows his next steps. 

Coaching will likely cover your coachee's professional issues, such as which aspects of her job she'd like to improve, skills that she wants to develop, or ambitions that she holds. However, remember that she's more than just a "human resource." Make sure that you view her as a complete person with specific experiences, frames of reference, emotions, and patterns of behavior.

As part of the process of building trust and rapport, it's helpful to share some personal information with your coachee. For example, reveal something about yourself, such as your goals and aspirations, or some insights into your personal life. Your coachee is unlikely to share his feelings unless he's comfortable around you.

Emotional Intelligence   (EI) is the most important skill you can develop when coaching someone. This is the ability to understand and deal with your own emotions, and those of the people around you. Individuals with a high degree of EI know what they're feeling, what their emotions mean, and how this can affect others. Take our quiz, "How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?,"   and read our article   for more on improving your EI. 

You and your coachee are equal partners during the coaching process, so you should disregard any hierarchical differences that may exist. Your coachee will define the actual issue, while you should use your skills to help her address it. Read our article on informal coaching for managers   for more on coaching as an equal.

During the coaching process, you may have to analyze your coachee's past to find some answers. However, the most positive coaching sessions also look to the future and conclude with an agreed set of next steps or actions that he should take. This is a core part of the PRACTICE   and POSITIVE   models of coaching. You can then provide "homework" assignments that encourage structured thinking time between sessions.

It's helpful to check in regularly with your coachee, to make sure that she's happy with your sessions, and that you're covering what she wants to. Use the SMART goals you've set to outline her next steps, and to motivate her to stay on track and remain excited about her goals.

Motivated people enjoy their jobs and perform well, and coaching a motivated member of your team is much easier than trying to work with one who isn't interested. If your coachee is motivated, he'll likely be more positive, excited and aware that he's investing his time in something truly worthwhile. Read our article on team motivation   for more on how to improve and maintain your team members' energy levels.